it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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