we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize