I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
