If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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