i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize