it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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