Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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