real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
