I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
