No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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