she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
MIDGETS
????
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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