He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
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You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
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She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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