Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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