I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize