Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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