goodnight i made you a song goodbye
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
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