I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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