I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Don't EVER smell your tampon
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Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
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Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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