PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
