i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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