I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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