Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
