when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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