Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
