Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
