Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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