belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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