I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
