this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
