seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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