i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
