Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
