You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
