I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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