The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
