just come out here and I will go home with you...
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
