I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
last night I used snow as a chaser
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
