god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
