the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
