where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
