I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
