When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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