Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
How's work?
Spinning.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
