The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
