Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
