:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
