So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
