tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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