i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
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Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
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Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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