Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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