This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
