I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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