Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
