I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
