I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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