do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I need a burrito and a hug.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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