The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
