Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize