Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
