I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize