i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
